Ignorance is Not Bliss

Ignorance
Is not bliss.
Yes,
You may be unaware
Of the world's strife,
The pain,
The sorrow.

But I have a question.
If you do not know darkness,
How can you know light?

Anonmous Questions

They come back to bite.
And bite hard.

For February,
And Valentine's Day,
The whole "month of love" thing,
My church small groups did a thing
Where we submitted questions
About love, dating, sex, all that jazz.
And we did not put our names.

I decided to challenge the house leader.
He had said multiple times
That he believes dating in high school
Is a good thing.
I'm not against it myself
(after all, I have a pretty awesome boyfriend)
But I guess I wanted to hear his reasonings.
So coming from the perspective of:
"Is it wise to date at a young age
Like 16
If there is a small chance
(as all the statics claim)
That you and your significant other
Will get married,
And thus you'll be giving away pieces of your heart
That you will never get back?"
I asked
"Is it crazy to ask for forever at 16?"

Bad wording,
I know.
But I asked it.

And was called crazy.
He offered a straight jacket
To the asker,
And then asked
"Who wrote this?"

Well,
OF COURSE
I'll tell you now.

It's as if
He didn't think
That behind the question was a girl,
Frightened,
Worried,
Scared.
And questioning herself,
And trying to hold on to her faith.

Now I ask you:
Will any one else dare to ask
A daring question again?

Valentine's Day

I feel like a rebel,
Writing this
A day late.
Or is it 364 days early?
Hehe.

I had a fantastic day.
And a lot of people complain about it,
But really?
It's a day named after one of 8 saints
And people are supposed to show love,
And not just romantic love.
My friend's heart stamp is still
Holding strong on my right hand.

Of course,
You could take the
"Bake my girlfriend a cake" route.
I like that one.
Or the
"Make an insane amount of valentines for my boyfriend."
That one is fun.

OR
You can celebrate
Singles Awareness Day,
Stay at home,
And eat chocolate.

But whatever you do,
Don't complain.
Because someone out there
Has got to have it worse than you.

The Crickets Have Arthritis by Shane Koyczan

So, Friday was my last forensics tournament ever. And this poem was a part of my favorite program to watch. And I did edit the poem to what he performed. Because we only get 8 minutes and he had three other poems and 30 seconds to introduce it.
So for once, this is someone else's poem. Not mine:


It doesn't matter why I was there, where the air is sterile and the sheets sting. It doesnt matter that I was hooked up to this thing that buzzed and beeped every time my heart leaped like a man who's faith tells him God's hands are big enough to catch an airplane, or a world. It doesn't matter that I was curled up like a fist protesting death. Doesn't matter because my hospital roommate wears star wars pajamas, and he's 9 years old. His name is Louis, and I don't have to ask what he's got.The bald head with the skin and bones frame speaks volumes. The gameboy and the feather pillow booms like they're trying to make him feel at home because he's going to be here awhile.

He asks me if I believe in angels. And before I realize I don't have the heart to tell him, I tell him, "Not lately." and I just lay there waiting for him to hate me. But he doesn't know how to, so he never does. Louis loves like a man who lived in a time before God gave religion to men and left it to them to figure out what hate was. He never greets me with silence, only smiles and a patience I've never seen in someone who knows they're dying. And he'll still be planted in this bed like a flower that refuses to grow. I've been with him for 5 days and all I really know is that Louis loves to pull feathers out of his pillow, and watch them float to the ground. Almost as if he's the philosopher inside of the scientist ready to say, "It's gravity that's been getting us down."

The truth is: there's not enough miracles to go around, kid. And there's too many people petitioning God for the winning lotto ticket. And for every answered prayer, there's a cricket with arthritis. And the only reason we can't find answers is because the search party didn't invite us, and Louis, right now the crickets have arthritis. So we must meet silence with the same level of noise that the parents of dying 9 year old boys make when they take liberties in talking with heaven. We must shout until we shatter in our own vibrations, then let our lives echo and grow, echo and grow, grow distant.

But I swear to whatever God I can find in the time I have left, I'm going to remember you kid. I'm going to tell your story as often as every story you told me. And every time I tell it I'll say, "See, there's bravery in this world. There's 6.5 billion people curled up like fists protesting death, but every breath we breathe has to be given back. A 9 year old boy taught me that."

People drop pennies down a wishing well, so the cost of a desire is equal to that of a thought. But if you've got expectations, expect others have bought your exact same dream for the price of a 'hard work, hang in, hold on' mentality. Like, I accept any challenge so challenge me. Like, I brought a knife to this gun fight, but the other night I mugged a mountain so bring it, I've had practice. Louis and I cracked this world wide open and found that the prize inside is we never lied to ourselves. Never told ourselves that we'd be easy or undemanding. So we sing in our own vibration, and dare angels to eavesdrop and stop midflight to pluck feathers from their wings and write demands that God's hands take the time to catch you. So, even if God doesn't, it wasn't because we didn't try.

I don't often believe in angels, but on the day I left Louis pulled a feather from his pillow and said, "This is for you." I half expected him to say, "See, this is the first one I grew."

Like a Fool

I used to be content
With nothingness.
A few scattered ribbons
From rounds
But no medals,
No trophies,
No finals.
I used to be content.
But things never changed.
And so,
You ask me why
I am quitting?
Because I feel like a fool!
I've given three years of my life
To forensics now.
Spent endless hours practicing,
Lost countless,
And now precious,
Hours of sleep.
For what?
Nothing that will be remembered.
Just that girl who
Challenged someone's thoughts for a moment,
Before the next,
Better,
Competitor stepped up.
There are novices
Who final.
And I'm sitting in the bleachers,
Feeling like a talentless fool,
When I'm already ravenously hungry
And am missing my boyfriend.
Yes,
I am secure in my position
As one of God's princesses.
But why should I waste my life
For something I don't love?
Why should I waste my time
On something
That will only give me
More pieces of paper
Telling me to talk slower.
That's why I write.
Because written words
Can be read at any speed you'd like.

Cocoa Power

You kissed me
On the cheek
Yesterday.
Was the cocoa power delicious?
I'm not sure
How to write this poem.
How can I put to words
My happiness?