Rise

He rises today
As He always does.
He rises today
As He always will.

For Death has no power,
Not any more,
No strength beyond
What He has given.
And what is given to Death
Will be taken away.

So Rise yourself.
Rise and accept freedom,
Death, and true Life.
The True Love
That the fairy tales forget
Was etched in stone,
Etched with blood,
On the cross.

We can be "just" friends.
"Just" help each other out.
"Just" listen when we need it.

We can be "just" friends,
And "just" be there.

Because how can I
Figure out "me"
In the middle of "us?"

Stop the Music

Can a song end unresolved?
Can we pause the notes,
Stop the music,
Halt its course
And move on
Without any questions,
Any attempts
To start the sounds again,
At least for now?

Spring will come.
I am sure of it.
The snow is melting
And I doubt its return,
For the last attempt
At keeping all frozen
Has not lasted a week.

There are fat robins
And plumb sparrows
Fluttering around the yard
The slowly turns to green.
They mean spring,
Spring is coming.
Finally.

As I walk
With eyes cast down
Pondering sorrows,
I hear a clatter
And lift my head.

A deer skitters past,
Running across the parking lot
Afraid yet seeming
To show off,
Just a little,
Before she disappears around a corner.

I keep walking,
And as I pass the corner,
I turn my head.

There she stands,
Silhouetted by a streetlamp,
In all her wild glory.

"You're beautiful,"
I murmur,
As if post-midnight words
In a language she'll never know
Will calm her heart
And bring her to me.

I take a few more strides,
Then turn again.

She still stands there,
Turning her head to follow me
As I resign myself to sleep again.

I look back once more,
Before I round my final corner.
It was only a few seconds,
But in that little time,
She silently vanished.

As I walk,
Stumble,
Back from the Union,
Drunk on exhaustion,
The night lights
Make the frost seem
Less like diamonds
And more like thousands
Of LED lights
Shining brightly
Making me stumble more.

And thousands of thoughts
Race through my head
As I picture the lonely Saturday
In Barnes and Noble
I considered,
And the plans my father made.

Why won't my laundry
Get done at earlier hours?

There were times
When I didn't hate myself
On any level.

I hardly remember them.

Especially now,
Mid-growth,
I can hardly see the sky
For the thorns.

But I know it's there.
I've seen the blue.
And one day
I'll make roses bloom.

Until then,
I'll keep pulling thorns.

Water Fills the Glass

Water fills the shape
Of the glass it's poured into,
And so when the glass
Disappears
The water will have to make
Its own shape
Though it will always carry
The imprint of the glass
Within its memory.

It's embarassing
How much reminds me
Of him,
And yet it's
How it should be.
His name is naturally
The one I reach for
On Douglas Adam's birthday
Or after Nerf Russian Roulette.
And it's a good thing
I can predict his reactions
Since he's taking distance
To heal.
But I hope he knows
That banjos don't make me smile
Just because they're banjos.

It's strange
To think that,
For the last time,
You've taken off
A pair of shoes
You've worn so well
And worn so long.

Five years
Is a lifetime
For shoes,
Especially dancing shoes
That have seen the stage
And countless
Formal events.

And now,
They are likely done,
Tucked away
After years of valor.
So I must say goodbye
To things I didn't know
I loved until now.

I shall say nothing.
I am excellent at keeping secrets,
Holding my ace of spades
Until the last moment.

I will share my own pain,
Perhaps,
Tempered with the distilling water
Called fear and pride.

But you can bet your last dollar
That I shall guard your woes,
While I try to heal them,
Until the day I die.

Until My Body Breaks

I have two bruises on my ankles,
One apiece.
My right hand is scratched up
And both are clammy,
Smelling of metal.
My spine creaks with each breath,
Adjusting with each take of air.
My shoulders, quads ache
Along with the pads of my feet.

But I want to keep running,
Around and around
Until my lungs burst,
My body breaks,
And soul stops bleeding.

I don't want to take this exam,
But this too shall pass.
I'm stuggling,
But this too shall pass.
I'm fighting,
But this too shall pass.
I'm fading,
But I too shall pass.