Work has begun.
It's time for sun,
And water and small children
I can't resist,
And others that have grown
And now swim on their own.

Another year
Praying for rain, clouds, and clear skies
All at once,
Hoping for an empty pool deck
But full water.

More months
Ready to kill one coworker
And hoping to befriend others.
Time passing teaching the kids
To swim and move on their own,
So I don't have to worry so much
As they swim.
Just worry about them
When the grow "too old"
To come to the pool.

I'm just like her.
I keep silent;
I try to make peace.
But I stay too silent,
Like her,
And let the war rage on
Inside.
After all,
I look like her,
And apparently drive like her,
So why shouldn't
I solve problems like my mom?

I clean
And organize
And hope everything
Is right.
'Cause there's lots to do
And I hope I've done right
The seemingly little yet loads
I've completed.
At least music helps the time pass.
I just need people home.

The rules lie broken
At the foot of the cross.
For upholding
Six hundred and thirteen rules
Only shows how faulty we are,
How our own legs are already shattered;
It gives us no grace,
No righteousness.
So trust,
Don't try,
And in those three words
Is the simplest and most difficult instruction
I've ever received.
So trust,
Don't try,
And I'll be right there next to you
Failing the same way
Over and over again
As we move toward the Light.

These empty hands
Still feel a heartbeat.
And I'm a little sorry I let it go,
But not so
When I lie awake at night
And count my shallow breaths
Knowing that heartbeat will be alright,
And so will I.

Saying goodbye
Hurts so much,
But I'm glad that you too
Chase after Truth,
So one day we'll say hello again.

An Empty Heart Filled Too Full

An empty heart filled too full.
A still heart beating twice too fast.

It will be poured out,
Emptied of its nothingness,
Set to running again
In a quest to be stuffed to the brim.

It will be calmed,
Shown the speed of life,
Set to running again
To find the rhythm it requires.

An overflowing heart still empty.
A racing heart far too motionless.

I stood under a lonely streetlamp,
A faint drizzle
Brushing past the leafy green trees.
As the night wore on,
I could hear the lonely sound
Of a solo trumpet
Echoing through the night.

And I whispered to the Eternal Something
"Might I have a poem?"

And the Eternal Something whispered back
"Not tonight."

Not-Quite Ghosts

People leave their marks on things.
A flash of memory there.
A memory of touch here.
A touch of longing, too.

Songs are never the same
When people walk out of the melody.
Gardens look different
Without that one shadow across it.

Now all of campus is empty,
Yet I am here.
All these not-quite ghosts
Go striding past my eyes.

Three hundred
And sixty five
Poems.

Three hundred
And sixty five
Stories.

And they all add up
To one.

Piece by piece
They make up me
And memory and memory
They create me.

So three hundred
And sixty five
Poems,
All here on this blog.
They mark out a life,
Ink out an age.

So here I am.
In three hundred
And sixty five
Pieces.

What do you think of me,
After all these days?

I am writing a love poem to myself,
For I have none to do it for me,
And would ask for none in any case.

But I am a goddess of movement.
I am flame and fire,
Sinew and muscle that cannot be severed
Because I am destruction,
Decay,
Desire,
That can hurt
But oh, I use to it heal.

The floating beauty I adore
I capture to fly about in a glorious waltz
Or glide through a lovely foxtrot.

And yet I am not a one-trick-pony.
For when I need to,
Or want to,
My movements exude sex.
For I am fast and wild and wicked good.

Then there is the nerf war.
Oh, I feel so alive.
I am strong
I am silent
I am fury and I am glory.
I may be defeated but never without honor,
Never out without a bang.

I am a goddess of movement.
I do not walk.
I dance lineally.
I want to fly and so I dance.
I'm too damn hot
And I'm the way God made me.

Lord give me light,
For that is what I need.
I am dark and there is no reprieve.
I eliminate one stress,
But another sorrow is fast on its heels.
And those that light up my life
Are never around long enough to illuminate me to You,
And when they go
It's darker than before in the places they leave.
So please give me light.
Because I flounder in situations
I do not understand and cannot control,
And yet even as I reach for you I pull back
Because I do want that power
But all I do is stubbornly plunge into darkness.
Please give me light.