What should I say
About the terror and fright
That accompanies
Fall's Halloween night?

(Aw snap I set myself up
For a rhyming poem.
Screw it.)

The fear of unknown
And the joy of the hunt
Makes every child work
For the perfect stunt.

With costumes and hair
And candy galore
There's no telling what
Those at the door have in store.

And if you bring them
This short pretty rhyme
I'll bet you'll have plenty
Of candy in time.

He forgot me.

I suppose I never told him,
How I'm invisible
And that it kills me,
So I'm expecting something
I have no right to expect.

I'm still angry.

This is why,
Even as I sit at a table
Surround by 20-odd people
Who I can name
And name their favorite teas,
I still only believe I have two friends.

Earl Grey

He cuts me like a knife
And he doesn't even know.
Sitting at the end
Of a flickering,
Fading connection
Of LED lights
And wires and invisible wi-fi lines
And even cellular tracks,
Is a relationship I don't understand.

One day I'll kick down the door of his room,
Throw a box of Earl Grey at his face,
And tell him I don't comprehend
But a little effort on his part
Would tell me I'm his friend.

Perhaps I should cut my losses,
And hie to those
That show me they care.
But he was kind
The times he acted as my friend.
And I'm no quitter,
Even if I was never ahead.

I had forgotten
How much I love
To cover myself
With a harmless mask
And to be another,
To perform.
I did not,
However,
Miss auditioning.

The Hawk

He's a hawk,
A beautiful thing
That I can admire
But must not dare
To dream he'll come to rest
On my arm of his own accord.
He'll come when I call
For it's what he does.
Yet should I merely watch
His circular and winding flight
I won't even pretend to imagine
He would notice he'd forgotten me.

A Leaf on the Wind

I'm just a leaf on the wind
That no one sees
Until it flutters into their face,
A bother that soared in their way.
When I'm needed,
When I laugh,
Then suddenly I'm the tree,
Standing tall and wide
Casting such shade
I can see in their eyes
They can't imagine not
Having me around.
And then I sit here,
Sans communication,
Knowing I'm once again
Just that little leaf on the wind.
Watch me soar.

I took lies into myself
That others might not be sad.
But I forgot to uproot them
Before they crawled in
And grew lies of their own.
So I carve this pathetic smile
Onto my face
Not because I'm sad
But because I forgot
How to be happy.

The pain in my back is fire.
The pain in my heart is ice.
Each ripples and receds
At the edges of its borders,
Daunting and cruel
In its refusal to fade away.

I befriended a butterfly,
Young and strong,
Who carries things without a care
And keeps his wings buzzing bright.

Yet a cat cannot pin down this butterfly
And keep it unharmed and new,
To leave it as itself
I must watch in confusion from my stable condition.

Superboy and the Invisible Girl

I'm invisible.
I'm forgettable.
I won't pretend I don't care,
But it also doesn't bother me,
In the way aches don't matter
Because you're used to them.

So look at him,
Dressed to the nines every day,
With a winning smile
And loping gait.
His intelligence is proven
By the school he attends.

I will pass by unseen,
In my jeans and t-shirt.
I'm used to it,
I know that to so many,
I'm not there.

Those that see me,
Some care for me so much
I am always there and they always hear me.
A few see me
Because they're invisible too.

It's no surprise to this invisible girl
That superboy doesn't seem
To look twice at her.

Don't love me,
For I am so wrong.
I am chaos
And ugly.
How I could think
That you could notice me,
Befriend me,
Is beyond comprehension.

My fingernails
Are cracked and bloody
From ripping at this mask
I've worn for so long
And sewed in place
That I might participate
In man's fatal duality.
Yet has this mask
Made a coward of me?

There is a disorder in my loves,
And love does conquer all after all,
All must bow to love.
But I cannot bow enough,
Cannot tear enough
Cannot rip out enough of this thrice-damned pride
To crawl away
And cry for help to those that can aid me.
I cannot weep;
I will not let myself
So I condemn myself to agony,
Knowing that I must turn,
Must change,
But these changes are difficult for a reason.
They cannot be made alone.

It's October now.
I can see it by the leaves.
The reds and yellows
That I want to snatch up,
Carry off,
And seal away to keep this time
In place forever.
How swiftly I would lose
The terms Faust set down
And Goethe wrote,
I can scarcely believe.