New Year's

To make resolutions,
To decide to change,
You have to know
What you want
So you can decide who to be.
"Although how can you know
Who you are till you know
What you want, which you don't?"
So how do you pick?
How do you pry up
Pieces to polish and shine
So you can be a better you?
And do you even want to be
A better you?

Merry Christmas
And may you find such
Joy in sparkling lights
And warm toes
As love overflows
From the world to you.

The ice lies
Wrapped about the branches
And the strands of grass
As the sun shines
Making it all sparkle
Like a polymorphic prism.

I'm catching glimpses,
Snapshots,
Of the life my family leads.
Because I am gone,
Now I walk in the door in winter
And the tree is already decorated
And I leave before it's fully gone.
I don't have my own life,
I'm not that far removed,
I'm in this half-limbo
Of childhood and something else.
I think.

The Last Study Session

I lay on the study room floor,
Every inch of me screaming "no more,"
When I heard the tell-tale signs of someone approaching.

I expected words of jest,
Or encouragement to do my best,
But I was covered in a blanket so fine
I could recover lost peace of mind.

Say something

The snow falls and falls
In a graceful wave of winter.
It's fast movements still bestow
An aura of peace to the trees.

I'm giving up on you.

 
I'm only sorry
That I'm experiencing it alone.

A Message to College-Me and -You

Breathe,
Just breathe.
Remember how you've studied?
Remember all the notes you took?
You will succeed.
You know this.
Why be terrified you will not?
You have all these allies,
Now use them.
Do not be afraid,
For all who matter
Are on your side.
And that includes
Every professor grading your finals this week.

She

"You, poet,
What is your muse?"

She,
She is the snow falling in the lamplight
In the dead of night.
She is soft bubble
Of the sliver of a stream
As it trips down a mountain.
She is a piercing pair of ice blue eyes.
She is a slender pair of musician's hands.
She is the lowest note of joy,
The highest keen of sorrow,
And all the notes in-between I can never hit.
She's the prickling sting on my ears
As the cold grows too powerful
Even as she wraps me in the warmth
Of every hug I've ever known.

My muse is Life;
For one day,
She'll be Death.

Them

the one,
I want to touch him
As if he's made of Braille
Leaving messages of my own
Scattered across his skin
And reading the notes
He touches to me.
I want to flutter my fingertips
Over him until I've absorbed
What I can of his wisdom
And love unending.

the other,
I want to hold his attention,
Possess his time
And let minutes slip into hours
And days slide into years.
I want to know him,
Let him know me,
And find all the ways
To bring him joy.
I want the moments
To run away like clouds
With his attentions.

Funny.
When I think on them,
They seem so different,
Yet I do believe they are the same man...

Heal me,
As my body falls apart.
Heal me,
As my heart betrays my sanity.

How can I survive,
As I lose my leg
And my mobility
To the pain.

I know I can live,
Even as my emotions
Are pulled and twisted
Between all these different places.

I still need to be healed.
I will wait
And try to take care.
Heal me.

John 6:35

Isn't it funny
How those I desire
Have no time for me
And I contemplate this
The night it is posted
That "Whoever comes to me
Will never go hungry,
And whoever believes in me
Will never be thirsty."

I am leaving
To return
Yet in coming back
I only do so
To leave again.
Yet through all this
I stay.
Tell me why
This makes sense
In this crap-saccharine world.