Maybe after rest,
A chance to sleep and eat well,
The words will come back.

Surrounded by friends
New and slightly older,
Gifted food and shelter
For one simple weekend,
Gratitude comes easily.

The shortest drive
taken to a friend's house.
It feels strange,
To drive such a way
To such a place
and have it take so little time.

The words dried up,
Lost and stolen
In the mad dash
As the semester ends.
I hardly sleep,
I hardly eat,
Consumed by papers
And anxiety that I
Cannot escape,
Not with the current path.

As the stars shone
In patches overhead,
And snow fell
In graceful dives,
Men sang.
It was romantic,
And lovely,
And it banished sadness
For a little while.

Haunted Without Scars

You still haunt me.

I'm walking through the snow,
With cold wrapped around me
And crystalline flakes brushing my face,
and you haunt me.

I imagine seeing you again.
For some reason,
I'm back in the city where we were.
Maybe I've just pulled up to a red light.
Perhaps I'm reading in some cafe.
But there's a prickling sensation.
Without knowing why,
I look up.

There you are.

You're standing a ways off,
Staring at me.

We don't say a word.

Our faces may be the same,
But they still show the myriad
Of changes you and I weathered
While apart.

We don't say a word
About how we're different
From who the other knew
But yet still unchanged at the core.
This new just didn't show yet.

We don't say a word,
But in that silence,
We still smile.
We share forgiveness,
For the other and for ourselves.

Maybe we start to open our mouths,
To say anything,
Or just "hello."

But the light turns green.
And I drive away.
I leave you again.
But this time,
I don't add a scar.

I stood as the snow fell
In slow, steady drips
At the edge of the deep hole.

It once was a house,
A place with memories
That I was not party to.

Now it is nothing,
Nothing but melancholy
As snow falls.

So I alone attend the funeral
Of a home I never knew
That is nothing but a pile of bricks
And a hole that reaches down to sorrow.

Will you love me if I am me?
Will you love me
As I reveal the bits about me
That I hate,
Which is a lot,
If I'm honest.

I change my face,
I give myself so many masks,
Because I don't trust people,
I don't trust them to like me.

Why should they?
I don't.

I love the cold.
It makes me feel alive.
The hurt of deep cold
snags my ears
and keeps me tethered.
I love the cold.
I feel so human
as I search for warmth.

Her Mass was beautiful,
said for a departed soul
too kind to have empty pews.
I sat shoulder to shoulder
with people I hardly knew
as we grieved over a woman
who had the gifts
to bring a city together.

I will miss her,
Her smile,
Her laughter.
Still I can see her
Every time I do what she did
And serve the community.