In a lighter moment,
I recognized my patterns.
I noted the development of my style.

there's an "Icarus Cycle"-
with the last entry made at the end of April-
where wings of wax
and falling images
slipped into poem after poem,
some happy,
many not.

My capitalization rules
vary and change.
Once I followed a self-rule
Of every line
Beginning with a capital.
Then it changed
to only every complete
phrase,
or it's commencement.
Sometimes I'm too tired to care.

I play a little more too,
when I'm intentional
and not just writing for practice.
I play with indentation,
with punctuation.

I can't wait
to see how I'll grow.

I can create
inside a kitchen,
but I lack the confidence
to do so with wild abandon.
I hesitate,
I check and re-check,
then check again.
There is so much that could go wrong,
and there are others' happiness at stake.

I do not need people
to tear down
things I am proud of,
or even me.
I am critical enough of myself.
I don't need you
to remind me
of how pathetic I am.

How self-centered,
how vain am I?
To think that my own failures
make me so pathetic
that I am worthless
even though
the Creator of the Universe
has deemed me forgiven
and Loved.

Perhaps I really am as pathetic
as I fear.

there's circular reasoning
in there somewhere.
Where is the weak link
that I might break this chain?

Panic, panic,
putting myself forward,
paving a future,
probably, hopefully.
Perhaps I'll fail.
Possibly not.

Names are Power

Guard who you are;
Names have power;
Hide your identity
In secrets and lies.
Names are power;
You can build Laura up,
Repeating her name
In comforting tones
That say you see her.
Tear David down,
Whispering his name
In time with "slut"
And "immature fool."
Turn that one invisible
Or mighty by hearing
Their name
But never letting it past your lips.
Names have power.

Mais comment vous vous appelez?

I am home,
A cat on my lap
And peace settling about me
As I rest with family.

I have needed this-
A break,
A chance to breathe.
All I could ever want.

Isn't that so?
Isn't that all anyone needs?

The cat cries locked in
a car taking him away from
his only known home.

Graduation looms,
the last one before my own.
As time ticks closer
towards separation
I quietly,
stoically,
mourn all I have lost this year
and all I loose tomorrow.

Do not leave me,
my friends.
Be separated from my place
but not from me.
Let me keep your words,
your thoughts,
your smiles and preferences for tea.
Stay my friend
though you graduate
and cannot stay a student.

Forgive and Forget

Lovers are easy.
You win them for a season
-or maybe a lifetime-
with pretty words
and sentiment,
pressing joy into the other
because you think it won't last.
(Hearts tend to break,
after all,
and humans like to let a silly thing
like sorrow get in the way
of I am content.)

Friends are harder.
You lure them in with laughter,
with joy as well,
but you try and make them stay.
They do
the ones that count

What matters

is that lovers wound
but make you forget,
lost in silken words
and breezy touches.

Friends wound
but they heal.
They take scars
that are not their fault
and turn the hurts
into their responsibility.

It is different for all of them.
Some draw the hurt out with words
as one does a child from under his bed.
Some burn the poison away with action
-or literally fire-

Sometimes you don't know the hurt is gone
until it is,
drowned with the second cup of tea
that you wanted but
didn't ask for
and something tells you the first wasn't asked for either

That's why humans usually have both,
isn't it?
So we can omit
and we can mend,
forgive and forget.
just don't lose yourself in only one

Constellations

I can count the stories

Drawn in the stars.

You're not interested in them,

are you?

Or at least,

not ones I would spin.

I can trace the history

of man's imagination

but I cannot trace

the trajectory of your thoughts.

I can point

to the lies the ancients told themselves

to keep their children warm,

to place the image of heroes before them

when they face the monsters in life.

I cannot point

to the moment you started to lie.

Or did you?