I wrote before
about a duality,
a split-
a division of affection
that I feel once more.

But then I was more innocent,
and saw a soul
divided in twain-

Now I see double
for there are two to see.

It is strange,
wanting the kiss of one
untrusted

and hungering for
the simple company
of one who will forget
you all too soon.

Even stranger
Is the longing
That none of this
Would exist,
That I can pull myself
free of this mire
And sail on,
Relaxed and happy.

In all probability,
no one will ever
return my affections, so...

But at least I have
that picture of Hiddleston
I taped to the fridge.

She's back!
Fiery hair and soul
burning bright
where she belongs.
She is life,
a bubbling smile
and laugh that carries
and warmth and-

It can take awhile,
but the heat of the sun
can warm earth,
who then jealously clings
to light it was given.

I can't do all i want to-
All I need to-
I'm fading so quickly-
A star collapsing
Before it began to shine-

I don't deserve
him I find cute.

He is sweet,
and caring,
though like all humans
it is not true
of all times.

but I am fool,
and a growing failure,
a drunk I fear-

how can I,
pathetic little me,
hold a candle to his grace?

Rage,
goddess,
my muse,
my Terpsichore,
sing my rage,
dance my rage

Do not let me fail-
Do not let me falter-
I Will Not Accept This

it is not my fault.
please,
lover,
the only faithful one i've ever had-

don't let others,
fools,
cruel pathetic ones
who did not think
ruin me,
ruin us-

Rage,
goddess,
bank my rage.
Do not let me fail.

Give me some other way to go.

Broken,
jagged,
enough rough edges
that one let close
could snap off a piece,
leaving what remains
more ragged than before.

am I then brave
or foolish
to let one in?

I mostly write for me-
dear readers,
do I do you disservice
by not crafting you words of greatness
to lift your soul?

Je suis totalement bourré
But I am with my boys
And I have joy.

There are faces missing,
As always,
For no matter how hard we try
We will miss something
In this life.

Gather these times,
Seize the memories
Before they pass into the night.
Hold on,
And they shall keep you warm later.

Two struck me mortal blows;
         Funny that the second
         Follows the first by but
         Two seasons.

The same two called me dear.
         Strange that it always requires my power
         To get more than passing conversation.

Two were begged,
Pleaded for instruction.
          But how to be what they want
          And expect from "friend"
          Still lies beyond my comprehension.

The morning will put these words
To regrets,
But I burn now,
Under relentless failure
And the weight of a world I built for me.

Too late,
I think it is not to my liking.
I would I had the strength
To make me anew.

Lover,
Never find my grave.
Never stumble upon
      my humble stone
      and sullen earth.

Lover,
Never weep there.
Never water the soil
      I sleep beneath
      where I'll sense not you.

Lover,
All the salt in the world
Tossed from your sad eyes
Could not make me walk again.

Lover,
Never find my grave.
I promise never to search
     for yours.