They're happy-

Let me press every blessing I can
into their souls
as I hug them,
adorned in white and lace and a tux-

Let this couple smile for all their years to come.

My feet carry me across a stage-
I shake hands-
Paper is pressed into mine-
I smile as pictures are taken-

Relief and exhaustion in equal measure
flood into my bones-
as does trepidation
as suddenly the entire measure of my life
changes

Too many people,
too many cries for my attention-
Just STOP already.

I need sleep,
time for me
with no one else.
Please,
just leave me be.

But you can't,
can you?
I have to graduate,
and host family,
and attend a wedding,
and idiot younger friends are ignoring me.
So I can't just spend time reading,
sleeping, and packing
like I think I need.

So I'll press on.
I always do,
slipping around obstacles
like a particularly determined stream.
I'll sleep when I'm dead.

I hum with joy;
how can I not?
He's here,
with strong arms
and kind hands-
ah,
I shall miss him,
his unique feel-
I have not written him enough poems.
I don't know if my pen
will ever pour out enough.

I have traded sugar for sleep
(not entirely my fault)
and now the world is bright again.
Step by step
I make my way to the finish line.
Perhaps a little more ragged than I would have liked

Grabbing at straws,
skittering like a deer on ice,
as the weight of all there is left to do
rises up like an overwhelming wave-

She left me,
and I'm broken,
because she tells it the other way around.

It stabs like fire
because I hate to carry guilt not mine
but there she stands above me with a shovel
ready to drop it all on me-

but I won't give her
the satisfaction of screaming.