Wrap Me

Wrap me in your arms.
Wrap me in your words.

I've ripped myself apart;
I tugged my heart loose
And gave an ear to any
That needed to speak
And all the care I could spare
To any that needed a smile.
And when my heart
Could not expand fast enough,
I tore my time into slivers
I've thrown every which way,
Where there's even the slightest
Cry for help for any project.
And when time ran out,
With too much to do
And too many to help,
I slashed at my mind
To try to understand
Myself and all around me
And any problem imaginable.
When all this was in tatters,
I eyed my scars,
Where flesh and blood
Had already been severed
By everyday dangers of life.

Wrap me in your arms.
Wrap me in your words.

Come alongside me,
Holding tape,
But do not give it.
Come alongside
This shredded flag
And plant it
Where shine the Light and Love
Of what is Enough
To Pay For It All,
A sum no amount of
Heart,
Time,
Mind,
Blood
Of mine can pay.

Wrap me in your arms.
Wrap me in your words.

I am losing.
I cannot win.
I can't look away
From the scars inside
I desperately want to etch
On the outside.
But that will not pay,
Will not fulfill the requirements.
So I shed my scales.
But am not Enough.

Wrap me in your arms.
Wrap me in your words.
Remind me that I do not
Have to be Enough.

I told him how to care for me,
How to show me I'm not
Some pathetic leaf on the wind to him.
I told him,
And he forgets.
What the boy does not understand
Is that I don't work like him
And I never will.
But I'll do my best to meet him as he is,
To show care how he understands it.
But he must do the same for me.

There are sometimes
Very nice people
That I want to punch in the face.

Like the girl
Who wears suede sole dance shoes
OUTSIDE
All the time
Even when it rains and turns to snow.

Or the mismanaging chick
In charge of my vocal group
Who hasn't started rehersals
Or handed out music
And it's less than a week to our concert.

Someone punch them for me
Because I still have to be nice to them.

I can't hold all this together.
Not me,
Not my friends.
And it's killing me.
I feel as if I must,
And I cannot let go of that need.
So when it all falls apart
For me and others,
What can I do?
Words don't work,
Not if they won't come.

My Chicks

They're sleeping around me,
The men I try to protect,
The two I wish to gather beneath my wings
So that the wind and rain can't reach them.
I want to hold them close
That the cold can never touch them,
Only the heat of protective love,
As I find myself an older sister twice more.

Oh friends,
Stay with me
Where the earth is soft
And I can stand strong against your troubles.
Oh friends,
Sleep in peace,
Let me stand guard
Against the nightmares that haunt your dreams.

I will never leave you.
I will be there when you call.
I will always be your shelter
Should the storm grow to be too much.

I Have a Self

I have a self.
I know this.
When I close my eyes,
And look within,
As my philosophy professor
Tells me to do so,
I can see her.

She stands,
Strongly,
Smiling bravely,
Even as streams of blood
Leak from holes and scratches
Across her body.

And every experience,
Rather than adding to a "bundle,"
Adds a scratch
Or a bandage.
That strong core
Will always be there.
Her smile will shift,
Her stance change,
But she will always be the same.

I am invisible
Yet cannot bring myself
To fix the problem.

Because that would mean
Choosing me
Before others.

I will always put others first,
Even if it makes no sense
I will try to do it.

And it hurts.
For I never know when
It's acceptable to pick me.

So when I call for help
But others are busy,
I feel hurt that they choose themselves.

Though,
I don't blame them.
I'd pick them over me any day anyway.