I will grow.
I will become better.
I will say ha!
To all the voices in my head
Telling me I've failed before I began.
Because I can do things.
I can succeed.
Watch me soar.

Elle est une rose

Mon meilleur ami,

Elle est une rose,

Une rose très rouge

Et très belle

Pour la premier éclore.

Elle a peur

Qu’elle a déjà fanée.

Mais ça n'est pas la vérité.

Cracked Ice

I walk on the edges of the ice on the sidewalk
Because I have it bad
Over a boy I'm not good enough for.

I want to hear that crack
Of breaking water frozen long ago
Because then the sound
Is coming from something physical,
Not the metaphoric heart breaking.

For he is blind in a way,
And though adorable it still hurts,
To sit in obscenities
And half-remembered alcohol,
Knowing you've crawled a little upwards
But he had never fallen to begin with.

(just look at all those sentences
ending in prepositions.
curse you poetic license and bad grammar)

So maybe,
I'll walk out onto the pond,
And smile as the ice cracks beneath me.

I wonder if those jagged lines
Will match the ones
I carved into me?

Soon.
Less than a week.
Then I'll have performed,
Again,
With lines,
In front of people.
I cannot wait,
For fear
And for excitement.

I cannot function.
Too much to do.
Too much to fix.
I cannot eat,
And forget to sleep.
I drink too much tea
And too little water.
Someone save me.
Rescue me
From my own folly.
How can I catch up
When I have thus
Fallen behind?

A Pleasant Future Stuck in the Now

I'm sitting on an old couch,
Wrapped in a dream
Even as I am solidly rooted to now.
It's not so hard to see this fifteen years older,
Still a mug of tea to drink,
Snow falling to watch
As the wind pulls it in ribbons to the earth.
And I can dream of silence
Broken only by the purrs of a cat
Then padded footsteps
As he tries to slip in next to me.
But I'm pinned my a cat on my feet
And the sofa arm on the otherside,
Leaving him to complain
Of the cat's claim to the throne of the house.
But the cold of the windowsill on my elbow
And the near-scalding warmth of the mug
Keep me rooted to now,
To here,
Staring out my dorm
As the weather roars.
Through the trees I can see the light
Of the house that I hold so dear,
With the men I have come to care for
And that care for me,
Perhaps beyond reason on both sides.
So I am in the now
For "then" will come
And likely when I least expect it.
I'll still have that cat though.

Can I be your someone?
Can you be mine?
Let's be friends
And dance into life.
Let's be.
Let us be.