It's so hard not to send him words
Anytime I think of them.
It's hard to hold on to
Slips of coverversation
For it wouldn't be polite
To merely blurt everything out.

The storm has raged and faded,
The green sky turned to black.
I remember the rustling of the trees
And the roaring of the wind.
Though I do not wish
That the storm had stayed,
I still miss it now that it's gone.

Details

Let me remember every detail.
I glanced and stared at him enough
To draw him again with words,
Though this time
I cannot be so poetical.

I love that his hair is growing long again,
That the curls are forming again
Giving texture,
Depth to dark and short waves.
I want to touch
The single outlying curl
At the base of his neck.
It's tantalizing.

He hasn't shaved recently,
For the smallest frame
Is forming around his mouth,
And my attention was there already,
What with his clever tongue
Talking, of course.

After removing his tie,
He undid a button.
Now with each stretch of his shoulders
My eyes are called to the smooth skin
Shielding tendons of his neck,
And the single freckle there.
He also rolled up his sleeves.
When he lifted the heavy box,
Muscles flexing with work,
I think my heart flipped.

Maybe I'm ashamed of my intense perusal,
My cataloging of these details and more
(Like how he reels back with laughter
Or how joyously slender yet strong his hands are).
But maybe I'm not that embarrassed
To revel in a wondrous creation of God's.

I don't want to go.
I don't want to leave
This place,
These people,
Sitting in a living room
And chatting until
Your eyes shut unwittingly.
Yet all things
Must move toward their end.
So here I sit,
Immortalizing these moments
And praying I'll find new ones.

Perhaps
It is high time
I banished these affections
And finally
quit.

I always prefer the background characters.
(Though I also always love forefront players.)
They're the little touches of art,
The details that make it real.
It's their attention to the little things
That make the image reality.

I look forward
To my days alone.
Finally,
I'll be able to rest
From these complex
Emotions
That do nothing
But make me
Hate myself.