The Protector

I am the eldest daughter.
I will protect my sister
Will everything I have.
I will sit in my room
And cry,
Not because our choir director
Destroyed my joy in singing,
But because he is stealing
Her confidence and joy
And I can't stand
In-between her
And that bullet.
I will encourage friends,
I will bolster hope,
Even if I have to lie
Through my teeth
That it will be alright
Because if I don't
I haven't tried hard enough,
Haven't bled enough,
To keep those I care about
Far, far away from any pain.
I will hide my own sorrows,
My own concerns,
Because they are burdens
I do not wish upon myself
So how could I wish them
Upon my friends?
Thus I protect
And refuse to be protected.
But slowly,
I'm coming to realize
Just how unprotected
I have made myself live.