They smile,
and tell me I'm pretty-
that I have an amazing body
("thanks! I'm a dancer!")
and that my kind heart
is practically unbelievable.
that they'd love to date me.

A few minutes later,
they send a quick text to their girlfriends.

I'm the second,
the one they coo about
when they're drunk
and I'm drunk and sad
(never the first without the second)
as if an academic affection
they would never act on
could make me anything
but vaguely annoyed.

I'll still laugh
and smile
because that's what they're going for.
And in the depths of disappointment
how can I do anything
but fulfill their wishes.

I'm not even mad,
because how I can begrudge their joy?
Just annoyed,
as I didn't need this knowledge.

I'll just curl up in a corner,
with some obsession,
pretending I am satisfied.