Anxiety Attack

So, you're off to All-State.
Another weekend I'll spend without you.
I finally read your "Brick Wall" conversation.
Stupid slow computer.
I love you.
To think I won't see those eyes
For a whole weekend
And that an anxiety attack
Stole from me
The last time to see you before you leave,
I almost want to cry.

One thing I didn't tell my dad
About my breakdown yesterday
Is that you were the one thing on my mind
As I lay on the ground feeling nothing
But pain.

I was laughing with irony inside,
Seeing as the one time a lifeguard was needed,
It was the lifeguard in trouble,
And you weren't there either.
I was reminded
That you can't save me.
But God can.

And it kills me inside
That you won't accept His help,
His Love.