Zuko is ever so grateful for Toph’s lessons on the cold bus ride -
he’s been training firebending with her;
picking up where Uncle left off
in adding earthbending techniques to his bending -
because when the bus suddenly slams to a stop
he remains standing, centering himself in his piece of floor,
letting gravity take him just far enough
into the bend of his knees
and the grip of his arm on the pole he stands firm –
not the the brunette next to him,
who reeks of waterbender
as she tries to react against inertia,
losing instead and crashing into Zuko,
her hands clutching at his shoulders even as she’s thrown into him -
but he can’t be mad when she looks up at him
with embarrassed eyes in a blue he never could have imagined -
she’d outshine any sapphire, any fire opal -
her mouth drops open and he can imagine the stammering apology
so he cuts her off with a smile,
wide and genuine and real,
and whispers a corny line with just enough self-awareness
she smiles back and laughs –
and months later when they’ve gotten into trouble again -
serves him right for loving a girl that befriended Aang
rather than moon after the Avatar -
he’s ever so grateful for Toph’s lessons
because the men chasing Katara expect fire to come from his fists,
not sprout from the ground after an earthbending-style kick -
“Alright, Sparky!” -
then he has his hand in hers -
“You don’t have to hold my hand when we run, Zuko!” -
and thinks about the kisses he’ll steal later on the bus ride home together



(hahahahahahahahahahha I wrote a poem that's a Zutara fanfic someone kill me now or pay me)

I am just
weary

a morning at the dentist
a paycheck a week late
overdrawn because of the clerk's mistake with my mother's account
sore everything
half-functioning laptop
a cough that won't leave
a letter i refuse to look at

things to do that i can't do
won't do
because to do so
invites anxiety
depression?
worry
perfectionism
so i collapse to cope
and call myself a failure

fighting's better
fighting fixes things
and improves my mood and outlook

but i'm just so damn weary

All the friends around me,
young and aflame,
and yet it with my mother
I am most comfortable un-sober

SEE YOU IN LESS THAN A WEEK

I send to every friend that texts me,
drowning out the invading loneliness
with volume
because I have this awkward week -
poor and an "only child" -
where my sister and high school friends
have returned to college
but my classes are a week later.

and my best friend,
my sister in everything but birth,
she aches and I cannot heal,
she grieves but I can only say,
"I know; I'm sorry; I love you."

it's not enough,
not for me anyway,
so I'll throw things halfheartedly at my powerlessness,
as I pace alone,
grieving for a grandmother not mine,
who's gone home,
but left someone who needed her.

My only real resolution
was to stop writing poems to ex's

I got that down.

I think I left the rest of my improvement
up to myself and God
because the things that need fixing
aren't simple enough
to write down on a slip of paper
and brag about upholding

I will ache for a while

but I'm reading more!

The song that carried me
when people left
when i left people
has been dethroned.

For three laptops,
over six years,
it has been the song
most played
that I own,
the collection of piano notes
and soaring contratenor
in a bittersweet melody
has finally been overtaken,
not by the Irish boys I once thought of,
but swinging,
bold,
joyous music
I never imagined.

I wonder if I am happier,
that I listen to happy music
in this chapter of life.


(The dethroned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqUdiBaTSNg
The reigning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7ojM_TdwuI
The could-have-been: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuorM2gu4Ps)

365 days of failure,

of mistakes,

of "oh my -- I can't believe I just --

augh"

365 days of feeling awful

of mistake after mistake-

365 days of amazing,
of little blessings,
of "oh my I didn't realize
that meant so much to you"
365 of doing right,
of greatness.

the days blur together
as we grow older
and have more to remember.
single moments are lost
leaving only an impression,
positive or negative.

I have let the latter overpower,
overwhelm,
control me.
It's not much of a resolution,
not when I know I'll fail.
But I'll suit up for battle anyway,
determined to see more good
this year
than the last.

Happy New Year~